Those who have the hardest lives are the first to spoil their youth. This statement speaks clear of my host father and my host brother, as well as many families around the world. Russia’s past and current economic, political, and cultural situation creates such a gap between the youth and elders, sometimes so far as to say that they seem to be living in different worlds.
The older generations in Russia have come so far through many revolutions, drastic changes with leaders, and extreme changes in the structure of the state. The Russian generation above my own is more complex than I could have ever realized. The way they view the world and the way they think about their past still amazes me.
This generation was born into communal housing, where the state decided everything for them. It was as if they looked at their lives in a “the less I know the better I am” outlook. With this acceptance, this generation suffered through the Leningrad blockade and perestroika. Although my host father was just a child during the Leningrad blockade of 1941 and my host mother was unable to enter Leningrad during the blockade, I have heard from others about their experience and how their own history tied to the blockade. The siege lasted two and a half years, causing immense damage on the city itself as well as its inhabitants. Palaces, schools, hospitals, airports, railroads, and factories were all destroyed, basically the essentials for the city. Utilities, power, water and food were near impossible to find and many people died if not from bombardment than from starvation because of this. Walking around this beautiful city I cannot even begin to imagine what it could be like to live here in fear of your life and not know what the next day will bring.
But, clearly, my host father survived this siege and became a product of the state. Working on rockets and spaceships, he believed in the Soviet Union and helped it build arms against the United States. The Soviet rights are communal and economical. The purpose was to produce everything for the good of the state, and my host father’s job was no exception to this. During the Cold War, my host father spent time in the United States. The purpose of this trip is not entirely clear to me, but he did have to use a fake name, whether this was for the benefit of the Soviet Union, or the United States, I’m not sure.
At some point in time he married my host mother and their relationship seems to be the ideal Russian stereotype. She prepares him every meal, she makes his tea, she does his laundry, she cleans their room, she cleans their bathroom, and she does his dishes as well as working her own full time job. It is quite obvious from her body language that she will do anything to please him, despite the occasional eye-roll at his jokes.
My host mother treats my host brother in the same respect, but he does seem to help out around the house more in exchange for an open fridge. It is because of our host brother we have wireless-internet in our apartment, in Smolny, and that my host mom now has a new kitchen. For all his help, and I assume for being her son, despite the fact he has moved out, he still eats at least one meal, showers and occasionally sleeps over at his parent’s house. He is living off and taking advantage of what his parents have accomplished and gained over the years.
Looking at old family photos, it is obvious that my host parents love to spoil their sons. There are tons of pictures of them at the beach, at different monuments, in parks, and even on the World Trade Tower in New York. Our younger host brother grew up playing the violin, traveling the world playing and staying in home stays around Europe. He also studied and lived abroad in China for a year. None of this would have been possible had he grown up in his father’s era. I believe that the younger generations in Russia are more optimistic and ambitious than their predecessors. The youth have a chance to have dreams and actually fulfill them. Had my host brother grown up in Soviet times, he would have been apart of the Young Pioneer Organization, but instead he went to a free schooling system where he was able to opt out of the army draft and experience other aspects of life.
Watching my 24-year-old host brother interact with his 17-year-old girlfriend, I would describe him as enamored with her. They are very touchy feely when they are together, they call each other endearing names, she is on his desktop, and he is always in contact with her – be it on the phone or the computer or in person. Perhaps this will change if they marry and he may expect her to take over his mother’s role, with the cooking, cleaning, and taking care of him as he takes care of the handiwork of the house. Although, at dinner the other night, I witnessed him preparing a salad, despite the fact his mother was home. He seems like such a happy go lucky guy and I do not think this would be the case if it were not for his relatively luxurious life.
I can only imagine how the older generations look at the younger and how what they today take for granted was unthinkable in their early life and vise versa. Had the Soviet Union not collapsed I wonder if my host brother and father’s lives would be more a like.
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